getting out of school
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
wow... im leavin soon...bit scared...
today cried for mr xxx, yes i admit that it has been a long time since i've seen you. i expected to see you yesterday, in the hall, but it was a dissapointment. i even ignored mr yyy. my wish for you to be there in the hall with me was shattered. and weird because the penasihat smiled at me...to me the penasihat is mr xxx girlfriend. weeird huh..she usually frown at me.then today when i came to school yourr name was not at the absenties board. i thought that there was hope. then when i saw the teachers name at the staff desk, mrr xxx name wasn't there, only the co form teacher...but mr yyy and his co form teacher name was there. i'm terrified that i can't see him again... where r u? im worried... i cried and cried throughout the art lesson.then my best friend asked me if i use mr yyy as a substitution... i then realised that i was... how selfish was i? if mr yyy knows about this, wouldn't he be sad. i kept asking myself..then, after recess, i was supposecd to go for malay, but i went for english instead.i saw mr yyy at the hall. i was happy, bt i can't face him somehow. he walked passed by me, and i just smile. thinking that he had walked away i smiled like hell. then my best friend,has, gave me this stack of papers. then mr yyy suddenly bent towards me and was so closed to me. i was shocked. my best friend, ais told me that mr yyy saw me smle, that he direcly bent towards me. ais saw the whole thing. my best friend has and fyd saw it oo. only my other b.friend did not notice.from that moment onwards, i realised that mr yyy is not a substitution. he saw me and look many times after school hours was over. he was at the front of the staff office. caught eyes with him..hahaeverything happens for a reason.... mr yyy is married with children..time for me to say sayonara to him. don't want to go in deeper. its difficult. so...huh...signtoday ais got breathing difficulties. we tried to help, but she got mad instead. don understand. we only told her mother, thinks that she needs to know. but sadly her mom like don care. i dun understand, i've always thought that she and her mom are in good terms. has cried, cause of ais attitude.has tried to help, but you know when people are angry... dun understand....