well
i wanna wish the muslims out there..
Selamat Hari raya haji....

i don't think that this month and next month is going to be good....
well..i'm just human, what can i do?
aniwaz...
just wanna tell what i really dislikes:

FIRSTKY..I HATE BEING SHOUTED AT..ESPECIALLY WHEN PPL SHOUT AT ME ON THE PHONE...
SO FREAKIN NOISY..AND IT REALLY DO HURTS MY EARDRUMS..







well... glad to see that she is improving....
and thanks Rasul for the $10..
appreciate it...

hello.....
well.. i just am so sad....rite now.. yesterday..
went to Vivocity to look around for waiying and some other people... it is huge..but the sceneries are so darn beautiful..as usual..it was raining...
aniwaz..today went to the cancer centre...
then back to Has's place....
at around 5 or so in the evening..i left and went back home..this is so that i would be granted a permission request tommorow to go to the hospital again...
then reached underneathe..saw dad...
and he was looking upset....really upset.. i reached home..
the door wasn't locked and i entered the house.
there is a familly problem...and sis said that i was busy with other people family that i don't even know what happened to mine...
i was like shit! but i can't really object to what they said...
what am i supposedly to do?

i was basically shocked when Sam told me that two more people had known about Has situation...and the worst part is through my blog..so i totally changed my blog address.... it wasn't good because they would probably spread and Has wouldn't liked that....
aniwaz...Lina too knows about it..but i did not tell Has..Mardiana..can't u just keep ur mouth shut.. i specifically told u not to tell anyone....
well...tHen...Sam told Has that the other people too knows about her..and it was through my blog.. i felt tension then..who would expect that people would actually read it..especaially THEM....
aniwaz..Has told me not to update more about her....so i guess..i can't really blog much often do i....
i know has was mad..can sense it...ALAMAK.... y THIngs seems to go wrong....

yeahlah..went to Has's place..then to Hospital... went home..parents,,especially dad..always like call the house..has's house..very irritating...

i woke up late again..then called Has...
suddenly..has told me that her mother was admitted to the hospital... i was shocked... and really symphatize with her....
i went to her place ASAP... she opened the door...her sis was there too..and they all seemed worried....
Qistina and Shafiq is sicked...Qistina seemed very quiet....
aniwaz...has waited for a call from the brother....and all....Has was sad and she too told me that it was the scariest moment ever...she thought that she had lost her mom..and i thank god that she didn't...... not long after her brother came back home..he was in a hurry..and Has, her bro and i went to the nearest hospital... we entered the ward.... and saw her mom..she was crying....it was sad...very solemn moment..
then we went to the foodcourt for lunch.men damn expensive....
aniwaz...we stayed there for quite some time.... her 2nd sis came..her auntie and cousin i think... it rained the whole day..and i must say that it was so cold.....aaacchhhhuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!


At 8p.m.. rasul,has and i went home....

well..today is christmas..there will be many interesting christmas shows and movies today..haha..i'll be at home watching the whole day..i think dad was planning for us to go to east coast...but i don't feel like it since mom is like showing this attitude...whateverlah...kkzz..called has yesterday..she felt like vomitting again...
added her mom is sick too..hope it gets better for her....

well......parents went to JOHORE and will be back at around sunday or monday.... wat am i going to do? no food..na da.. i might cook.. but cook wat?
i am not that hungry..that's find with me..
haha.. i am going crazy....i'll update later..when my sanity regains back...

dreams are very mysterious..and confusing....
last night..i had two dreams...
first was about mr xxx..i can't really remember it as it was too fast..and sis actually woke me up at 3.30 in the morning..well at 4 something.. i went back to sleep... it was like finally.. then i dreamt about mr yyy.. i can remember it clearly...
we were in a class....
then he entered..he was wearing the blue purple shirt....
he looked angry at me..i don't know why..but he was mad at me.. i was getting bored too..so i just ignored it.. then finally..he was kind to me.. then i woke up...

it was 1.15 in the evening..i was like...WHAT! i quickly does the chores and at 3 or so... i went to has place... it was okay..has getting betterr... thAT is good....






something did happened..but i just can't disclosed it as family matter....

well.today is o.kay.... i do admit that i miss mr xxx..alot in fact...i know that i should move on..but just not now.but i will...confident....
aniwaz...went to has's place..late ....
reached around 3p.m or so... sis wouldn't let me go..in the end,we end up argueing...
played with the kid..but i am sad lah..because qistina like acting mad at me because i was a bit fierce towards her..but she doesn't want to clean up the place mah...
ar 7.45..mom,dad and sis picked me up... it has been a long time since we had gone out with each other like this..i was happy....went to the NTUC with mom and sis..dad waited near the hawker centre.... they ate..i was too full to eat.....
after that we bought some clothing..and then went home..mom asked me about the $50 1st bro gave me..sadly to say that i had finished it..sorry mom...i did try to save..really...but i am abit of a money spender..haha....

hello..well..yesterday..on monday-18.12.2006\
i went to has's place..we chatted a bit..then there was a phone call..has picked up the phone...then she quickly told me that i was running late..well..i rushed down to school and met up eith sam and ais..sorry gals..my watch..alamak..rosak...
aniwaz...met them and we entered the school..i was wearing my sweater..and covered my hair with the hoop...my covered was nearly blown because of one of the teacher who taught me english and geography..i hold the hoop tightly and ran next to sam... i think he knew that i was hiding something..but think he closes one eye...
we sat at our usual place..mmm and waited..not long after..saw akhim...i asked him which teachers were at the ava..it didn't seem that mr xxx was there...mr yyy wasn't there. i had expected there..but mr xxx..i somehow had the feeling that he was there... so i was so dissapointed...
then after that ais and i went to has's house..we sat underneathe the block..we chatted.. i must say that it was boring..as if nothing to talk about....
it was raining heavily... has mom came down..has offered an umbrella, but we declined...
well....it was fun because ais and i played in the rain..we were soaking wet...but it was so fun...
after that we went home....





today met Mardiana at tampiness..she was late...well..really late... waited for her..
she came..then she told me that mr xxx was at the ava.. he was there.. i was sad that i couldn't see him..i miss him alot.. and i really do want to see him so ever so much...
i couldn't help it but think only of mr xxx... well mardiana bought a stitch bear for has..and we went to has's place..but before that we went to print some pictures at the hawker centre near to our school..ex-schoolto be exact....
it was raining again..well we were wet even though there was an umbrella...
after that went to Has's place...okay lah..
i am not pleased with mardiana..i am not happy with her..because..she jugdes people.. i told her that recently i had a ghost encounter..u know wat..she said it was because i am not pioused enough..excuse me..ais is pious..but she still do see..many in fact... she is too straight forward..sis said it would be very difficult for her to live in the outside world..ppl wouldn't be pleased with that kind of attitude....
aniwaz..at 8.00 we went home.. i must admit that i was sad.. i know that IT WAS NOT MEANT FOR ME TO SEE MR XXX.. AT LEAST NOT NOW OR MAYBE NEVER...but i really do want to see him....







just entered the school portal..there was pictures during the N level thingy.. his picture was there.. i don't know why..and i just can't help it..that i cried..sis saw it..and i must say that she was mean... she always thinks that she is the best..her life stories are better.. mine is boring in my point of view..e.g when she talked to me abt her.. i would listen..but when it comes to me..she didn't even bother...


mr xxx I KNOW THAT WHAT I THINK OF US WAS WILFUL THINKING....
I KNOW THAT I AM NOT SIGNIFICANT TO YOU...
I GET IT....
MAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE HAPPILY....

well..went to Has's place at around noon... bought some of the stuff requested...it was a really hot day and i felt so dizzy..but the walking and all really decrrease the pain of the running nose...aaaaaacccchhhuuuuuu...
aniwaz..reach there and they told me that has vomitted last night....and her appetite has decreased... hope she do gets better.. anything else was normal...ate..rasul cooked..nice....has was sick..and she didn't smile as much anymore..not long after..she went to sleep...
i looked at her and wrote her a letter..in card format....
then at around 6.30p.m or so...Rasul and i went down to the nearest store....
I BOUGHT THE CARD with me...and he read it.. i told him that i had done many wrongs to has... he said he knows as has always talked to him about it... then he shared certain details abt it


HE TOLD ME THAT :

*HASLINA FINDS ME IRRITATING...
*THERE WAS THE TIME THIS YEAR THAT I WOULD WOKE UP IN THE
MORNING SO THAT I COULD MET HAS @ THE MRT...RASUL SAID THAT
THERE WAS THE TIME THAT SHE WAS ANGRY AT ME...WHEN I HEARD
THAT..I WAS SO SAD..
* THEN DURING SEC 3..ON HAS BIRTHDAY.. I BOUGHT HAS A MUG...
YOU KNOW WHAT..SHE TOLD RASUL..SHE SAID THAT I WAS LIKE BECAUSE
I GAVE HER THE MUG..THAT HAS MUST ALWAYS BE WITH ME... I WAS
SO DISSAPOINTED...

ALL THIS WHILE SHE THINKS OF ME THAT WAY....
I KNOW THAT THERE WAS MORE..BUT RASUL DID NOT WANT TO DISCLOSED IT TO ME...
WHEN I WAS IN THE LIFT WITH RASUL.. I JUST CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF..


I CRIED AND CRIED...
RASUL TRIED TO CALMED ME DOWN...


WE REACH BACK THERE...
I DIDN'T WENT IN TO HAS'S ROOM.. I JUST CAN'T FACE HER....
I WAS SHOCKED...

RASUL TRIED TO CONSOLE ME A BIT...THANKS
ANIWAZ.. I WASHED MY FACE..BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.. I CRIED...
I PUT DOWN THE LETTER AT THE TABLE NEXT TO THE COUCH..AND COVERED MY FACE...AND LYING DOWN ON THE COUCH..
I COULD SEE HAS SHADOWS WALKING TOWARDS ME... SHE ASKED ME WHY..AND I SAID NOTHING...
THEN SUDDENLY HAS SAT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE COUCH...
THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING SUDDENLY.. I OPENED MY EYES AND SAW HER HOLDING THE LETTER..SHE WAS CRYING...


SHE KEPT PESTERING..ASKING ME WHY....??
I GAVE HER A REASON..MR XXX...
I CRIED SAYING THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF MR XXX...
THEN AFTER THE TALK..I HAD A TUMMY ACHE AND WENT TO THE TOILET.. ON THE WAY TO THE TOILET..SYAFIQ SAID..KAKAK BALIK SEBELUM PAPA BALIK EH...
I WAS LIKE..ITS OKAY.. MY MIND WAS FILLED WITH THE SAD NEWS THAT I JUST DON'T CARE WHAT HER SIS THINKS....

since yesterday i'm getting sick..it was a cold at first then get worser...
i can't sleep at night..and when i was doing the house chores just now..it was very dizzy...but i had to brave on..and fight thids things... i admit that i felt better when fighting this..rather than what i used to do..lay down the bed..and sleep the whole day...and get sicker by the minute.. when u fighing this...just walk around...and exercise a bit..it really helps...

well..i has a problem with my peroid..seriously..it is unusual... i know it seems weird to say this..but sometimes i'm glad..but it is very scary too...
aniwaz.. i was at has's place that i got a bad stomachache...it was painful.... i tried to control it... has disturbed me with mr yyy.. i thought that i was getting high that my fluid came... i know its bad... but i just can't help it...
well..it was painful..ate and ate...has's mom cook..sardin asam pedas... nice..not spicy..but there is the sardin taste...and a sanwich of eggs...
aniwaz..has disturbed me again and again..and the fluid seems to get really uncomfortable..it was too much that i finally realised that maybe i had my period..it was unexpected... my period has been sailing for like months... since before prelims....but i glad lah..thanks has for the things...on the way back..saw this other cousin..from dad side..well she pretended not to see me..and i did the same thing..she wanted me to see her..it was obvious..firstly..she looked at me..and sat behind me..she did not avoid me or so... but i just bolayan.. its not that i am being cocky..but i just can't take it.. they do discriminate people like me...

nothing to so..huh..
mom and dad would be back soon..so bored...
didn't visit has today... but tomorrow is a yes
aniwaz..chatted with sam at msn.. sorry sam..got some prob with the internet connection... it was a bit difficult....
well, called has in the morning..she didn't ate much...hope she has more appetite...
got nighmares again... don't know lah..hope does not come true or a bad omen...
ate breakfast with sis..o.k..eggs...

Well many had happened recently…..
On MONDAY… went to has place….
Has balded her head.. she was so brave and was being so strong ..she did not cry..
I know that it was a difficult moment..but glad because ais and sam called…
Thanks gals..she need people to talk to..especially people who are special to her…
Thanks for the decision on your info for the N levels thingy….
Aniwaz.. thanks has for teaching me how to make a paper crane…
Appreciate it…. I must admit that my paper cranes are distorted…but.. I will preserver and improve on it…
Well today…. I went to has’s place late..this is because I was watching an interesting documentary at animal planet- growing up wild (tigers).. the tigers cub were so cute.. and that was the first time I saw a tiger actually gave birth…wow..it was amazing…
Reached has’s place at 11.20 or so..has was asleep.. she had dressed up to go out….to the library…..aniwaz..she later woke up..she was waiting for like 2 hours for me so that I could accompany her..sorry has…
Aniwaz..we went to the library then went to the nearby hawker centre near bedok inter. Has drank a big glass of coconut drink..and she bought me a lychee big glass..thanks has.. I was thirsty……
After that to a budget shop then NTUC…. After that has’s place…
o.k…. we talked abt skol and stuff.. sad to say that skol days are over..at least secondary skol… has said that she might differ her studies…. Well it is her choice..i just hope for the best…and support her….
Did more paper cranes..stars and heart…
Talked much abt mr yyy..and we also did talked about mr xxx….J and all..basically guys…
After watching PCK…I went home….
glad to see has is more energetic now..even though not uch..but improving..syukur

saturday and today(sunday)... i was busy at my cousin wedding...o.k...i was not a major help..but i do chip in..haha...



on SATURDAY....

i woke up late... when i woke up..i basically ate and ate..huh..
then has's mom called.. i was shocked at first and surely worried.... i thought something had happened...but i was glad when she asked me if i was going to a wedding. i told her 'yes'. she asked me for a packet of the food blessing.. i said o.k... basically after that i just relax..and ate..huh..no wonder my weight are getting worser and worser...
at 4.30 or so dad reached home and asked us to get ready...my dad was going fast and all,...he basically did most of the house chores...thanks dad...
i don't know la.. i broke down and cried in the bathroom because i thought that we were getting late..and sis was on my nerve...huh..but sis cheered me up by saying this persons name..mr yyy...haha
then after that we picked up a cousin...and when from bedok to woodlands... i didn't chat with cousin in the car as i was sitting on the front sit and enjoying musics on my mp3... we reached there...and helped out a bit... the cousin that i was mentioning boast out saying that she was the one doing all the work and we did nothing...hello.. if we did nothing..we wouldn't help out..instead we would be sitting down....and stare to space...
it was a very tiring day... they were having a dinner...wah..have to serve... sis disturb me with this cousin that is how to say special kid...yeah... sis helps me to sit beside him.... i must admit that i was happy..thanks sis...aniwaz..went home...so late.....reached home and i had to settle the vegetable thingy...wah..no joke ah.aniwaz.. i slept at 12 or 1 sumthing..can't remember...


TODAY( SUNDAY)
TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY.. woke up in the morning and get ready for the day...
got to be the KENDARAT.. something like helpers... o.k..ummm....
reached there at 10 or so..this is due to my mom,sis and i dilly dally..haha...
o.k
umhh helped out more than the prrevious day..wah very tiring..and i was wearing high hells too... i ate breakfast.. the food was very delicicious... after that helped out a bit.. gave some gifts... clean the tables.. and serve a cup of water...haha
by 12 in the afterrnoon..i was like wah tired man... it was very tiring.. there were too many helpers that i slacked off... haha.. then not long after, my 1st brother and his family came..i was happy..got to see my nieces and nephew...aniwaz... i caried baby shanshan..4 months old... he is the first of my brother childrens that i carried as an infant...so cute..so much like the mother.. but when he smiled..i am reminded of someone...mr xxx.. wah i loved to have carry him... so cute...
it was fun though.. at around 3 or so..all the kendarat of the family were already sitting down..and listening to the karaoke... some even sang...the kendarat students..not related to the family were doing all the work..

i want to say something that i am proud off... my 4 yrs old niece..NUR ERDYNA...sang infront of the crowd..she was so brave... everyone was supportting her.. she sang the whole song of pupus by mawi...the song really saddened me...because it has something to do abt my life..abt mr xxx. she knows the lyrics... everyone thought that she could read the karoeke titles..but she actually memorised the song...wah..
after that two of my brothers sang..it was fun... and i like the mc..got abit of a cush on him..haha..but i think only for a while as i am not gonna see him..and there is surely no connection...then helped out abit...
i sat there... went up..found sis and syasaya & dyna...
then lost again...then found them at brother's car.. i joined them..got mawi cd... sang the pupus song again..i was sad that my eyes was watery.this song really reminds me of mr xxx...i really do want to forget him..but there is something that's holding me back...i do have a feeling for him.....aniwaz..after that syasya and sis went up to the toilet.. i was left with dyna and lia...in the car.. lia don't really talk much..she can sing but no words... so cute...
after that i went out of the car.... i was waiting for sis...talked to kak in..she's pregant..her face really glows... glad to see her...
aniwaz sis came down..and we were on our way to has's place...on our journey there.. mom told me to helped her out at the stall on every mon and fri starting 8th of jan...
i had to made a decision...and i chose my mom of course...has would understand rite...
then reached has's place.. my family didn't went up.. they were too tired...aniwaz...went up..has mom opened the door..saw cute qistina and handsum shafiq... shafiq asked" kakak kenapa pakai macam tu?" cute la him.. i was actually wearing baju kurung....
saw has... her hair has really starting to drop... she just played with her hair..and there was alot of it falling.... tomorrow..she is going to bald her head..so...she is being very brave....ya tuhan...kuatkanlah semangat has...

aniwaz.. after that i reached home..and now doing this-blogging

just came back from has's place.. her bro and mom had an arguement again... i know has is a bit stress about this...aniwaz.has's bro..you shuld respect ur mom more..don't get me wrong..but come to tink of it, u owe ur mom more than wat u tink she owes u..the milk,the labour..love...p.s dun be offended.. aniwaz..has's sis really do knows how to cook.. i dun noe..but i felt a bit awkward with her sis...o.k.. love the kids..when i reached there..the kids open the wooden door..and the first thing they ask is.why was my hair different... so cute...by the way..my hair has totally changed colour..i didn't expect it to be this colour..i wanted copper brown.. i let it dry for one nite,now... its red brown...it supposed to be dark brown like the data shown.. guest i washed it for too long.. parents hscome home..tink they would be shocked..sis said dad would be mad..but...what can i do?

hello..... yeterday morning was boring as ever..despite of the comedies and interesting shows that i watched...i still felt as if i had nothing better to do... aniwaz...
at 3 or so...my parents reached home... and they as us if we wanted to go to Johore.. it was a fast desition and we said 'yes'... it was an hour or so that we reached Johore....after mom and dad settled thing in Johore... we had dinner..and i was so full... i aked my parents if i could dye my hair... the were supportive of it..they did not mind...wow...i was happy..that would be obvious..haha..
after our dinner..we went to like..i don't know how many shops.... dad drive us around...but it seems that there wasn't going to be any.. there was this shop tat sell a dye..but we wasn't sure of its product...but its o.k... we went to our house..but i didn't went up to the second level...i just stayed at level one and slept a while in mom's room...
at around 7.30 or so..we were ready to hit the roads back to Singapore... sis slept soundly in the car...
went we reached near our block..i decided to go to 7 eleven...to get the dye...
dad sent us there with the car...aniwaz..the was no dyes at 7 eleven near our house..how dissapointing..but the next shop has dyes..but with little varieties..we made do...we bought 2 dyes... i don't like sis colour..smoke khaki.. so i bought a copper brown...at night after doing some chores...ais called asking me about has..she called hass...but it seems that everytime she calls has..hsa would be sleeping..... my sis and i coloured our hair...
it was fun..but i wanted to use my method..and we ended up colouring our hair for so long..sis was a bit pissed...but not that bad....aniwaz.. iwas too tired to wait for the colour to come...so i raped my head and went to bed.. today i woke up..and my hair colour is changing..o.k lah ah...
visiting has later...had to buy some errands for mum....at bedok intercahange

a lot of thanks to god... has is getting better.. she now seems more energetic than on the previous week... sad lah.. can't visit her more often.. think i'm a bit penyebuk... always come.... should give her some space and family time... and surely do hope her mom and bro could get along more and does not make a stressful moment for has...aniwAZ... i would not waste my time at home..i hope... i would do what i am supposedly to do...
had an arguement with sis last saturday... and i was sad by her comment. i did not talk to her for 3 days...but today i gave in... i just don't know why....huh....
i had a lot of dreams lately... weird ones i must add....
there was a dream about mr yyy and mr xxx...both in my dreams at the same time... it would be the second dream hat i had them both at the same time... but weird...i could only see mr xxx in my dreams..but i heard mr yyy voice..but i could not see him...last night.. i dreamt of mr yyy only..he got a brother or something..weird dream....
k.lah.. i end 4 now....so bubye

Today met ais in the morning..went to has’s place… has was happy..it’s been a long time since I saw her that happy…. Anyway..the 3 of us sat at the living room….not long after…has sleeps…. Then at 11.45…ais went to school… played with little qistina…
So cute…. So manja…talked to rasul..o’k ah.. can disturb….
Not long after.. I went out.. buy some fruits…..and sis clothe..some aaa batteries, and some icy soya milk and cheese mooncake at mr bean….
I must admit that it was very tiring…. Has ate a little… sorry has.. I told you to drink the evian water..that u end up vomiting….has’s sis cooked was power..sedap….
Then not long after.. has cut her hair at the kitchen… seriously.. nice hairdo..knows she sad about it..she looked sad when her sis was cutting her hair….
Has walked at the living room a bit….then I was nearly 5….went down to the mama shop to buy yogurt drink- marigold..strawberry taste…
She tasted it..and said that it was awful…. Her taste bud is adversely affected… she ate watermelon..and tasted it like onions….
We then sat at the living room and talked about our school days…. Has had constipation..one of the side effects……but then we chatted at the room after the toilet thingy… later..some shit came out when she felt like throwing it…glad.. it has been days since she last throw… we chatted….
And that young power ranger wild force red ranger…shafiq… so energetic….has and I talked..then with rasul too…..rasul do knows how to cook…sedap….
Sis and dad called.. I went home after watching the Chinese drama- the fairy princess…
Dad want’s me to go to Johor tomorrow… don’t want

Woke up in the morning… then wash the dishes, and sweep the floor… when I both.. I too clean up the toilet… after that, I went out….. Reached has’s place.. She got fever… but after her mom wipe her with a wet towel…her body temperature would decrease… her mom went out and took a blender from woodlands… while her mom was out.. We chatted.. And browse through the graduation pictures… miss u Mr. yyy.. Happy happy.. Has ate rice..
Her sis cooked very well…so she wanna ate it…at 5p.m or so..has mom asked me to fetch her. On the way… I went to borrow library books for them and some some hand made soya bean… I waited at the int.. for like one hour…my feet hurts..and I decided to call the house…her mom picked up he phone…I was like WHAT! I be lying if I said that I’m not angry… on the way back..saw rasul along the way… he told me that has was furious at her mom for leaving me..and she even shouted at her.. I reached there in matter of minutes… I went into the room..and I was so shocked to see has shivers… I was worried… her mom asked her to eat rice…then she ate a bit..told her mom that she ate the rice for lunch.. wah … her mom talk like blaming me… she did not took the medication… then her mom said why I never gave her. In the afternoon.. I gave her for lonch.. in the evening..how to give.. I waited at the int for has’s mom.. then has cried… she said she does not want to go for chemo anymore… suddenly rasul raised his voice…he talks like what… it may seem to be very insensitive…but can see lah..is intensions are good… then after that.has and her mom sat beside each other.has layed on her..so sweet… then has mom went in..has and I watch the channel u drama… the fairy princess… then I went home.. reached home late… never kena scold..maybe due to has’s mom phone call when her daughter broke down…. Mom and sis was a bit offended because has’s mom talked to mom ..like a bit of offensive..but it is maybe due to her being stress… shafiq and qistina.. so cute

I woke up in the morning and do some of the house chores....
Then bath and went out to bedok int.met sam and fyd..I was 2 mins late. The 3 of us went to has's place... then we chatted a while. Not ling after, fyd went home..has's bro bought some sandwich for us. Sam was fasting...then sam...sam went to the library first. Has ate one piece of the sandwich. But I just wished that she could eat more... played with the little princess...qistina umairah..Has’s niece. So cute... the nephew, mohd shafiq..So active boy... chatted a while and browse through the grad pictures. Miss you Mr. yyy. Miss those fun days too... in the afternoon, has slept.. I also cannot tahan..so I slept on the chair... and today it is ais BDAE...happy bdae sayang....
Then woke up..Has mom offered spring rolls....
Then...has eaten her medication.....but she just can't eat her food... I called mum and told her that I’d be late...then... at 6p.m or so. Has got fever...so worried... she is a very stubborn girl. Ask her to eat, don't want. Ask her to bath, don't want. So worried at 8.30 p.m... I went home. I went home. Thinking that my parents would understand. But I was so wrong. I thought that they would understand. But I was totally wrong... I just believe that it could be like this. Mom stared at me like what! Dad was raising his voice. But later. He cooled down. It hurts me to see them being like this.mardiana called asking mardiana's condition...

sis bought maggie mee spicy tomyam..... we ate that fo breakfast..i coked it....
around 12 or so.. i reached has's place.... it was raining... i waited underneath has's block. i was shocked when rasul came down to fetch me... he told me that has is very weak.. i was so shocked when i saw her...she was lying on the sofa... she was so weak and she cried... it pains me to see her in that state. then has and i went down first... followed by her mom....she was so weak..thati ran out to hailed a taxi.so that the taxi could enter the carpark to picked up has and her mom... in the taxi... she layed on me.. my eyes was watery a bit.. i old it back..i don't want her to see... she is so weak..i don't want to worry her more.... it was so sad...
she felt naussea... went we reached at the national cancer centre.... i went in to get a wheelchair for has... sign up.. and ready to go.. she went for chemo for like more than an hour... most of the time.. she felt like vomiting.. a kind nurse prescribe her with another medication... has's mom went up and down to settle the financial problem.... i pushed has to the pharmacy... has mom called us to go to the welfare office..has's mom broke down... then we went back to has's place.. serve me spring rolls..so big....full

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