My secondary school life
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It has been an interesting life in secondary school. I met meaningful and sincere friends on my journey in this part of life. There are friends you can count on and there are fiends that could not be depended on. Some friends do betray you, and you can really see where their loyalty lies.
When I was in secondary one, I was enrolled in Bedok South secondary school. I hated my life then. I was not respected and was so lonely. I had only one friend, but she does not really bother about me. Sometimes I felt betrayed. I do not communicate well with my teachers and peers. One of the teachers even called me a loner as I do not usually mingle around with other students. Sometimes at night I would cry. It was a very pressurizing situation.
At that point of time, my school was on the evening session. I do not have time to talk to family members as they are usually busy in the morning, and by night time, they would be tired to talk to me or spend some time with me. Because of not being able to share my problems in school, I would always attend school late. I hated school then. I could not skip school as my father would pick me up from school, even though he was tired. I do appreciate what he did.
By the end of the year, I was desperate to get out from that school. I could no longer tolerate the gossips and attitude they have towards me. It was unbearable.
My father really cared. He went to several schools for me, but my application was rejected every single time due to my poor results.
Not long after, I was accepted in Bedok View secondary school. All thanks to my father. I was happy and overjoyed. I no longer had to enter the unbearable school that I once experienced.
My habit of coming late did not help me in the new school. For the first few months, the only day I was not late was the first day of school as my father sent me.
I had to run everyday and it was really tiring and embarrassing. I got to know four students there. There was this particular student that would always ask me to join into her group. Her name is Haslina. I was reluctant at first as I was shy, but I eventually spend my time with them. Then, I would keep quiet and do not really open up to them. But my habit of coming late to school was getting better. I would attend school so early even the classrooms door were still locked. I had to wait outside. After school, I would rush to my twin sister, Huda, and played basketball with her and some of her friends.
It was a sad year for Haslina as her father passed on. I did not know about it till she told me herself. The other three of them, Samirah, Rafida and Aisyah did not told me about it. I did not consider them as my friend as they do not actually communicate with me. They do not actually bother about me. I would only join the group for recess only if Haslina was there. They argued a lot, but I would just keep to myself on my views and opinions. I was afraid that they would abandon me if I say the wrong thing.
Haslina and my sister, Huda could not get along well. They had a heated argument and my sister sms a very mean and insensitive phrase. It was a difficult situation for me, but they are alright now, but I could sometimes feel the tensions between them.
Sec 3 came. We had our differences. I always argued with Haslina, and it was one of my bad days of secondary lives. Aisyah would always support Haslina because she knew her better, and I was not really close to her. As for Samirah, she grew farther from us. She was not around, and she was not there with us. I realized that I was selfish and took Haslina for granted. I had a crush then with a Thailand male student. I would frequently talk about him and he made me smile by just looking at him. But he was a jerk. He played with my feelings and pretended as if nothing happened. I joined the girl guides with Samirah to now her better. It was alright. I got to know more people and be more open by joining the cca.
My sec 4 years was one of a roller coaster year for me. I was taking my N levels. I had an infatuation with a male teacher that I got over the Thailand student. I was crazy about this teacher. He made me so happy, and he gave me signals. I thought he had the same feeling for me as I was to him. My friendship was tested. I grew to know Aisyah and Rafida. They also got closer to me and it was comfortable when I was with them. My infatuation grew stronger day by day. I was crazy about him.
I wanted so badly to be promoted to sec 5. I would go to school for December holidays. And I did not have the chance to see him for 2 weeks. I felt like dying. It was killing me.
The day I got my N Level results was the joyous day for me. I could be promoted to sec 5. I was so happy.
During my sec 5 years, it became very challenging. I was depressed over the teacher. My friends were there for me, but I was selfish and push them far. I do not care about them but myself. This is where my loyalties lie.
I still like him though, but I became stronger and put on a brave front.
The first half of my sec 5 life was miserable, but then, the second half was meaningful and it really woke me up.
Then around July or so, Haslina would disturb me with one of my subject teacher.
I felt disgusted at first. I really hate it. But has time passes by, I fall for him. I know that it was unexpected, but he really made a different in life. He doesn’t hurt me in any way. He played along. And I was thankful for that.
My friendships with the four of them were getting better. We had our differences, but we stayed strong, and I thank god for that. My life really changed with my friends around. When I am sad, they would just made me smile and brighten my days
Anyways, I still do like the first teacher and it hurts me most when I am not able to see him. But thanks to the second teacher that brightens my days.
Well, know… I have graduated from my secondary school. It is very scary, but I do have to move forward.
I must admit that the challenges were getting tougher. Haslina wasn’t that well. And I often felt sad. I can’t really talk to Haslina about it because I don’t want her to worry and get stress out. But thanks to Samirah would always make me feel better. Even though we don’t meet up as often, but she just brightens my days through the internet and phone. She would advice and really consoles me. And I thank you, Samirah for everything, for being there for me. I don’t actually communicate with Rafida and Aisyah. We communicate less often since we don’t see each other everyday and it is difficult to contact them.
Many events happened. Sad, happy and etc moments that made me grow up.
I believe everything happened for a reason, and we should brave regardless of how difficult the challenges faced.