fistly and foremost, i would apologise to ais for not being able to go with her for the interview. it was too last minute.
aniwaz, with my family moral support, i had some confidence boast up.
thanks to dearest sis for accompanying me to the interview... Thanks sis, Love you LOTS LOTS LOTS...(Muaacks)
Sad to know that Has didnt make it due to her current condition... Wish her all the best for next intake...
I am terrified right now for the upcoming result... Wish me LUCK... The gd luck(WINKS)... Well, the result will be out tomorrow... Wish that I am in all of your prayers... =)
NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS
To sum it all up, today's interview didnt go as planned... It was horrible... I dont want to reminish it... =(

hello there. Only to more days to the interview. I'm scared. i dunno wat i can naswer if they ask me why i want to be a nurse. haiz...i went blank just by thinking of it. haiz. wat can i do? aniwaz, wish me luck.

i'm terrified, scared. i'm getting cold feet just by thinking of it. its scary, very very scary.
yesterday, i've got a letter from Ite about the first course choosen. Nursing.
this Wednesday, i have to go through an interview at 9.30 a.m. i know that i should remain calm, but this is really pressurising. Wish Has and Ais will get the letter soon.
wish me luck...

hello there... the last time i went to Batam, i urged mum to buy me this book titled chinese cinderella by adeline yen mah...

the book is based on the author's true story and it really amaze me that there's people in the world that can be really cruel.
what father forgets their own child's name and not to mention birthday.

i must say that i am very fotunate to have such a living and caring father.
thank god for that....

life can be so cruel....haiz....


to bookworms out there.. i am recommending this book ..this marvellous book.
this is the same author that wrote the book falling leaves.

think i wanna search for that book.

hello there readers.... today is such a bore. nothing much to do.... usually i'll help mum out at the stall, but today..haiz....i'm too tire. mum asked cik nasir to help instead. thank god.....


yhis family is going in the stress mode again. we've been through worse, but when will it end. it's always about, money and money and money...haiz....

well, i might have to go through an interview....i'm terrified....what will i say? wat can i do? wish me luck kay... i really want this course.....

k.lah, i got another blog to update... i end this now. k...bubye

my intervention

hello there..first day of chinese new year 2007, mom and i went to Batam. it was wow. there was a lot of people, but our ferry does not have mny people. maybe due to the arrival ports.
aniwaz..we get instant passes..yeapie...'
and sorry kak yuli for making u kan cheong.
kak yuli has slimed down. she lost 13kg in more than a month, less than 2 months.
i couldn't believe it, but she was different in body shape and all...
i admit, i am anspired.


kak yuli gave me lots of advices and thanks a lot....
she say there's this diet formula, and i've checked it, and its save.
its all calories and made of natural things.


aniwaz,love the batam trip....
it was relaxing and all..
but when we wanted to go home, mom didn't book the ticket, thought there wouldn't be many people... we were so wrong. the tickets were sold out. it was horrible. we had only the last tickets and tat is 10 p.m singapore time. we had to wait for 3 hours..long long hours.... there's hardly any chairs....

but we did reach home..at 12 p.mhaiz..tired...
and about the drastic losing weig thingy....
that's my intervention, thanks to kak yuli for vintervene in my unhealthy way of life....



i made another blog for the intervention at http://www.hida-intervention.blogspot.com


now i know who is my bestest friend of all, and i did realised it today, that person is no other than dearest sis huda. i have known her since we were in our mother's womb..... she didn't push me away like the others. i was surprised that she said that i am her bestest friend. and i too realised it today that she is. she could tolerate me, make me smile and cry too. she knows me inside out. i thought that my best friends are the best friends, but i realised that they are good friends....they have problems, but doesn't have the need to share..unlike sis..we share all of our secrets....between my good friends, there are too many secrets....and....
..... we are getting farther..hate to admit it, but yes we are...
,

well, the previous entry was done at abang long's house....
i was there to use his computer as i wanted to appy for the courses at ite.
the previous night i called kak malis and i don't know why, but i broke down..i cried. it was a bit awkward talking to her as we seldom talk.
aniwaz, it really surprises me to see who tha people who really cares for you. seriously, i didn't expect kak malis to be that. i promised to reached there the next day at 9a.m or so. think she knows i cried. not long after, mom told me that abang long will pick me up. then in the morning, i found out that kak malis ask him to do so...
abang long came and the six of us had breakfast. i has been a long time since only the six of us sat and ate..think about 1o yrs or so.
aniwaz, reached there and kak malis welcomed us....and she had on the computer for me....

aniwaz, i got problems with registrations and i was really irritated with the nieces....i called has and i actually kinda bastard has. i didn't realised that till sis told me. so i apologised for that a trillion zillion times...

aniwaz...after all that ate some food and smooties made by kak malis....then play with the nieces and oh my gosh the nephew so heavy...i couldn't take it..after sunat!!

then later we went for lunch....and little did i expect that it would be near mr xxx place....memory came flooding in...two yrs back, the day before puasa, rafida,aisyah, haslina and i went there, and indeed we saw him. he looked petrified....and ran up the stairs, but that was all in the past. i was a bit scared though if i saw him, but i didn't...




happy today..sis gave me a lovely testi....
and yes good to hear news from rafida....it was a long sms and it filled my time at the long queue at the post office.... and thanks sam for ur encouragement..love u muaxsss
can't wait for next fridae to go to escape thanks to mardiana free tickets and before that, go to skol to pick up her n level certs...
love the nieces, so cute and adorable. aniwaz,end for now....

hello there readers....
my 0 level results are out, and what can i say, i am utterly dissapointed with myself. the results was bad. i dissapointed everyone including myself. now, i am going to ite, but just hope and pray hard that i got the course wanted. i don't know why? but i feel father from my friends. i hate the feeling, it really feels miserable.
oh yes, on the day of the results, i don't know why he has to react that way. i do feel tension with him. aniwaz, that person is mr yyy.
has said he already siok sendiri. well, he too played along. i hate the feeling. why must everything end like this!!
aniwaz, congrats for the ppl who had done well for 0 levels.
i got 2 D7 for my 0s. the sad part is, i abandoned my social studies for maths, and both got D7. I FELT SO DISSAPOINTED. I STUDIED HARD FOR MATHS, BUT TO NO AVAIL. I hate this feeling.....whuaaaaaah

my patrents, aiya....also, i know lah..dissapointed. what can i do now?

whatever it is...i'm sure god has plans for us.....

for the past few days, i've been so depressed and frankly saying i am having a major headache and i am overwhelmed with the incidents that have been happening for the past two days. i cut my left hand with a key and i really did not have intentions to do it.it was a moment. when i realised it hurt a few seconds later, i stopped. At that point of time, i was so pressurised. especially after the major headache ]s and arguement with sis.
i left the house and wandered off to where my legs was aking me. i think and think about the incident. i cried and cried. i don't even know why.
then, later i smsed sam and ais. i felt comfortable turning to them. thanks lots girls. but i really thank u sam. for the advises and the effort to call. thanks. because of wat u smsed me, i realised what i was doing. u were rite. i was hurting a loved ones. thanks....appreciate it.
sorry for making u gals worry.
anwaz...next day, my aunt desperately thought that i wanted to commit suicide, and even called me stupid. i was like what! but thanks to has sms and calls i can finally avoided her.....



aniwaz...today has sms me and said it was something urgent, so called her back and she told me that ais told her abt the incident abt me.
and so later had appointment wif has after helping mom at the stall. it has been 2 days in straight rows that i have helped parents there. and it was tiring....so tiring.



aniwaz, went home wif mum then after i cleaned myself out, went out. met has and later at the interchange.here and there. and later dad picked me up.

so sad..i nearly cried. dad is giving me his last $100 so that i could pay my skol fees. i was like what! then how is that dad going to spend his expenses. he said that its okay..it is his responsible....

aniwaz..i am having a major headache. my dad had misplaced my skol uniform. i was like what the hell. i am so furious, but i was too tired to handle the matter. then mardiana ms..thank god mardiana agreed to borrow me her skol uniform. well then its nite..i am so frustrated rite now..nitez.....

last nite, dad told me that this friday, 9 february 2007 will be the day of my 0 level results.
completly leaving the school and never ever coming back.
maybe teacher's day. see how.
glad to know Has got a new phone. So it is easier to contact her. yeapie.
aniwaz, i don't know why but i am still feeling naussea since morning. i'm not pregnant. still a virgin and intend to keep it for marriage.

about the results, i must admit that i have a hunch that it is not that good.
and so, there's no high expectations. thanks sam for encouraging me. u'll do gd in ur results.

it has been quite some time since i blog. quess i've been busy.
well, the news of 0 level results is buzzing around that it would be out this friday, 9 of february. i have doubts about it since some says on other days too. so, just keep going to the school portal, and watch the news for information sake.

its not that i am being low in self confidence, but i've decided to further my studies at ITE simei. going to ite is not bad at all. we are still learning there.
i know that i've flunked my 0 levels.
i didn't really concentrate on learning, instead i would play around and have tons of fun. if only i could turn back time, but it is impossible.
so, i've decided my route. Nursing course at ITE simei. yes...
tats it...

school life is the best so far. being with friends and all. it interest me most what if i didn't met my best friends? what would have happen to me? what if.....

but you know what, i did met them. and that is fate. no one is perfect..yes...
but, i love them loads..thanks u gals for making me smile and cheering me up. i would remember the school times when we cry, laugh and play with each other. it was fantastic.

Infactuation.
well... i am a weak girl. i know that i am a very emotional and not as stable as normal average ppl. i like a teacher that most probably doesn't know my name. i was crazy abt him and i know gals that i made u gals miserable with my silly mood swings.
anyways, i must admit that i am not over him. i can't stop thinking abt him. i would remember those times when i saw him. i then realised that i had hurt him in many ways. e.g..he was so mad that he bit his lower lips, because i avoided him, and i make sure he knows abt him. i might be one of the reason to his massive problems.
i was really sad and dissapointed that he did not attend my graduation. so really sad that i cried and cried at the hall itself. i just couldn't stop it. knowing that i'm not abled to see him again really made me depressed, but now...i'm just moving forward. i may not know when i would see him again. maybe never, but i know that god has plans for me.

being depressed abt him made me crazy for a moment, but then, a teacher was there. even though he is committed, i just played on. just for the ride, but i know my limitations, abd i know his too. he made me smile and thank you for that.




i love my family alot..sis said family stands for:

F: FATHER
A: AND
M: MOTHER
I: I
L: LOVE
Y: YOU

AND YEAH, I THINK IT HAS THE MEANING THERE.


love you, ibu and ayah,for taking care of me and tolerating with my nonsense.
love you, kakak huda for making me smile,sharing my sorrows and vice versa, and making me happy.
love you, my nieces and nephew for making my time with you a marvellous and happy journey in life.
love you, haslina,samirah, aisyah and rafida for making me happy and advise me on my silly and hillarious problems, and tolerating me with my blues...
love you, brothers, for caring even though we are not close, but yeah..thanks
love you,sis in law for caring too
love you, nenek for your laughter and jokes
love you, my infactuations for making me have the feel of the wonderfulfeeling of loving someone...

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